Day Five - Lucky to survive

I was watching a recording of The Crash Detectives, where Police Forces piece together what happened during a road traffic accident, which the BBC broadcasted on 5th October. I also read the supporting article on the BBC website by Jenny Casterton and Nelli Bird.

One of the two incidents they examined involved Jake who was hit by a vehicle. Jake was walking home after enjoying a night out with his friends when he noticed a car approaching him at high speed. The car was doing about 60 miles per hour along an urban street in Cwmbran (South Wales) when it collided with a wall, before going on to hit Jake. The police said Jake was ‘lucky to survive’, especially as he sustained relatively minor physical injuries, and he was discharged from hospital the following day. What was even more remarkable was that months later, Jake both shook the driver’s hand and forgave him. And this was despite, ‘experiencing recurring nightmares and anxiety’. So, although he was discharged from hospital with minor physical injuries, he suffered mental scars.

Could we have forgiven the driver? Well, we are instructed to: ‘Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you’ (Eph 4:32). And also to: ‘Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you’ (Col 3:13).

But what does forgiveness mean here? Well, the Greek word used on both occasions is, χαριζόμενοι (charizomenoi), which means to show favour or give freely. I liken this to how we react when a child or a trainee makes a mistake when learning a new skill. You provide them with help, support, and encouragement or, at least, this is how you should behave.

But forgiveness is not easy. It took Jake months, but it could take you much longer and you may well need considerable love and guidance during this time. Jake also said, "A lot of people say I am mad for forgiving him ... I don't like to hold grudges too much against people because it doesn't get you anywhere." Perhaps others will think you are mad too, but forgiving someone can liberate you from the ongoing torment of blame and aggression. These feelings can be more debilitating than the incident itself, as they tend to gnaw away at the very essence of your soul and leave you trapped in the past.

This story also speaks those of us who are car drivers, and reminds us of the need to pay attention and drive carefully. Also, despite Jake’s forgiveness, the driver was still subject to the laws of the land (as we are) and he received both a three-year driving ban and a suspended sentence. In addition, he must face the biggest challenge, as do many of us, which is to forgive ourselves.

Let us pray – Father, we ask for your help and support as seek to recognise when we need to apologise and the courage to do so. We accept this is a challenging process but we your help we can take this step, apologise, and move on with our lives. Amen

Michael Rolton